TGM buys pixel space on the Ten Thousand Dollar Homepage

I’ve been detached from this website a few months, but active in school pursuits and other things (as always). After my last YouTube royalty payment, I had enough chump change to pay for a Coke at Costco… if I had the patience to wait 2-3 business days.

Instead, I decided to make the better business move and help a brother from another mother (the homie’s name is Roland) get a gold Apple watch so the man can stunt. I bought a pixel (#340) at the Ten Thousand Dollar Homepage. I’d give a three more days tops till he got enough cheese to look fresh. I’d advise that he shouldn’t be wearing that in any crime-ridden neighborhoods, but it’s up to that dude to decide.

So, visitors from the Ten Thousand Dollar Homepage, welcome! Thanks for taking an interest in my tiny pixel. Hopefully some content here interests you; if it does, be sure to make a comment or something. I read all of them, whether they be on YouTube or on here. Peace out, and glad to be back everybody!

McDonald’s Goes Simple With New Packaging

Earlier this year McDonalds unveiled new product packaging that eschews the product-to-product advertising of the old design. The new design uses a bold font, simple vector graphics and little else to enclose a customers meal. According to numerous publications and the official McDonalds press release, this new design is to allow people who want to keep their habits at the Golden Arches on the down-low.

Stockholders of McDonalds have expressed frustration over the chains desire to replicate its competitors products. Last year, the embattled fast-food giant announced plans to simplify its menu by eliminating variations of its popular items, such as the Quarter Pounder Deluxe and McWraps.

A simplification of the menu can sometimes mean the simplification of the packaging; but does it truly merit one? Indeed; the bold lettering of the unmistakable tagline (Im Lovin It) might make ones habits hard to conceal. But I suppose the design is better than using brown paper bags.

Attached are some 2D scans of the new design. Credit: McDonalds

Redemption of the Beast: the full story behind DMX’s 8th album

I caught wind of DMX’s supposed new album, Redemption of the Beast, on a complete whim. I was browsing Spotify one day and found a new single, “How’s It Goin’ Down“, at the top of the page. After doing a bit of digging, I found the album release on Amazon with a rather unflattering cover art of DMX: the artist superimposed upon his namesake, with a pair of legcuffs in the background. How decidedly ironic that this was the contrived product of an ancient contract between an artist and a label.

This article will give a bit of history on DMX’s career, address the status of the “unauthorized” album, Redemption of the Beast, and also shine a light on the company that is publishing it: Seven Arts Music.

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Pusha T’s ad-libs, in art form

Talented sound clown Titan Slayer created “I Am A God (feat. YEUGSHA T)” with the sole purpose of enhancing the original sound piece by Kanye West. Indeed: the addition of Pusha T transformed this braggadocious display of divinization and challenged it by matching the arrogance on a 1:1 level. It is quite a surprise that Universal Music Group hasn’t taken the work down yet.

Pusha T is a well-known rapper, performer and self-professed drug-dilla. His Wrath of Caine mixtape and debut solo album My Name Is My Name was released to high critical acclaim, especially here at TGM. Still, with almost 15 years of rap under his belt, no one knows exactly why Pusha T grunts so much in his songs. Are these grunts a form of excitement; these “woo”s a way to congratulate or cheer on himself or others? Or are they a form of disgustment, with the “yeugh”s a reflection of our Keynesian society? Hear for yourself, hear Yeugsha T’s “I Am A God (feat. YEUGSHA T)” for yourself, attached below:

How HATRED’s hype came and went

In the coming months, the fate of the gaming industry will face a crucial moment. Advertisers will decide whether to invest in journalists who have betrayed their colleagues in favor of fame or not; the third-wave of incoming feminists will strong-arm AAA developers so hard that their arms will be broken, and the meaning of what it is to be a “gamer” will change before our eyes. I have always valued creative expression, even if it was at my own or other gamers expense; but alas, I can’t help but fear the revisionist hunt for political correctness will only become bloodier from here on out.

Amidst this conflict, a Polish company called Destructive Creations comes along and not only tries to fan the flames with a shooter called HATRED, but also tries to douse the whole place with napalm.

My name is not important. What is important is what I’m going to do … I just fuckin’ hate this world. And the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life is just cold, bitter hatred. And I always wanted to die violently. This is the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving. And I will put in the grave as many as I can. It’s time for me to kill. And it’s time for me to die. My genocide crusade begins here.

-HATRED Protagonist Continue reading

Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) Movie review

Disclaimer: I applied to be a video editor for this film, but was not a part of the finished product.
Some people dislike creative works on the basis of not being a fan of the person or organization behind the project (take for example: Phil Fish’s Fez, any Uwe Boll film, or the Sim City reboot). To the creators, this prejudice might seem unfair; but a possible reasoning of why people might do this is because they expect the product to bomb. Many times, they are correct in that assumption; Phil Fish cancelled Fez on a whim, Uwe Bolls films have been panned time and time again, and EA has made very little effort to ensure their games are relatively bug-free.

So, why open this review with rhetoric? Well, the general rule is as follows: “if the person making a [game/movie] has a reputation of making bad [games/films], the work is probably going to be a piece of shit”. Indeed; reputations and consumer expectations are the ultimate driving force behind a release’s sales and honest reviews. But there always is the exception – that is, when the good, reputed producer releases a title that doesn’t live up to the hype.
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The Return of TGM

After a [x] month hiatus; with many people nervous that I had either died or moved on, I return!

The last piece I wrote here was a review of Gone Home, where I pretty much dismissed its lesbian drama as pure and utter bullshit. It still is, of course, but you might have thought that spelled my doom. It didn’t, I just became a lazy fuck like always and took a long breather. Alas, as the great Carl Johnson once said: “but now I’m back, and I know what I’ve been missing”!

Count on a bunch of edgy try hard reviews and a few opinion pieces in the coming months. I promise at least four next month. Spam my videos if I don’t live up to this promise.

Speaking of which — if all goes well, you guys might see another episode of Agent 47: Obnoxious Assassin. If not, I will commit Sudoku with Ellis.

Peace out and stay black.

Breaking and Entering “Gone Home” – a review

There comes a time when pure wit and the virtue of being reasonable under duress is insufficient to sway the indoctrinated opinion of a certain group of people; that is, people who claim themselves to be ‘social justice warriors’. Rather than proposing a debate and unintentionally invoking Anita’s irony, perhaps the best measure is to look the center of attention in the eye and give a thorough, unbiased evaluation of it.

Gone Home was released August 15, 2013, designed by Steve Gaynor (who worked on the BioShock games) and published by The Fullbright Company. The story sets you off with a brief voicemail at the airport (sadly, they don’t actually show the airport) and finally, at the Greenbriar home. You play as Kaitlin Greenbriar, a twentysomething college grad who just came back from her trip to Europe, only to find the place empty, with boxes and the like scattered here and there with your name on them. Alas, you have “gone home”; but the developers also left anything of sentimental value – like any form of linear storytelling – at the door outside.

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Borderlands 2 review

Although I never played the first Borderlands to the end enough to garner a good enough impression on it, when I bought the second one I was determined not to send yet another game to my backlog; especially after I heard all the good and bad about this game.

As you might have deduced from the title, Borderlands 2 is the sequel to the sleeper hit Borderlands, a western RPG with cel-shaded graphics developed by Gearbox and published by 2K Games. The game is faithful to its predecessor, and keeps canon for canon’s sake; but it also improves upon the graphic design as any sequel should and bridges the story forward to ensure a linear, concise story arc.

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BarackObeezy’s October 2013 Highlights

Well… this was expected, I guess. Instead of that anime review I let people know of the isoHunt situation and later termination of the event, and I uploaded two videos. The assignments at school have meant me moving in slow motion. Nevertheless, I still made another two videos  this month.

What this video did was let people know of the video-making situation in general: this shit is a hobby and most people don’t make much money from doing it unless you pretend to be autistic like Pewdiepie or are already famous like Game Grumps. I’m not really jealous of these groups (really I’m not!), but I do feel frustrated that I’ve gone weeks without working on videos. Old videos, as you can see, keep my view counts afloat; and my super-duper valued subscribers are thankfully patient, but I can’t go on being lazy like this forever. I like to make stuff, so not making stuff makes me anxious… if you know what I’m saying.

This is… probably illegal in most parts of the world. Just know that the game made Lara do it, not me.

This month, I’m going to get my shit together and release at least two Obnoxious Assassin episodes (one this week) followed by that Fujiko Mine review. Sorry for the long as hell wait, I have no other excuses besides school. See you then!